nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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