I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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