im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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