mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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