She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize