i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
