We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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