Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
