And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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