I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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