Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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