she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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