You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
