Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize