It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
