let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
