Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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