O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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