I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
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She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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