Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize