you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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