She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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