I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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