What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
