Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My bed smells like the plague
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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