On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
