Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize