I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
