I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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