My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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