I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My balls are so social today.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
That accounts for only three of the penises
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
