Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
