I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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