Kiss
Puke
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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