i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
