OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
