I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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