What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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