I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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