No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize