You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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