I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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