Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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