Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
