"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
