i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize