Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
