we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
