Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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