How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
