he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
