Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm too high and old for this...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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