You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
