shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
