I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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