'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
that is very illegal...i love you.
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