my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
