u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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