i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
