okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
