and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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